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It is a low time in my life, I haven’t been able to get a hold of anything new and exciting this week so time to head down to the local dairy and get a rope. A Nerds rope that is. I know these have been around for a time now, but it still says ‘new’ on the packet and I have always found them interesting.
I love Nerds, but for the life of me I can’t figure out what utility one of these ropes serve. You can’t really hitch up a vehicle to haul that tanker with it, it is hardly useful for detaining your kidnapping victims and try as I might, I just couldn’t successfully lasso any cattle with it.
It is approximately 304mm long which doesn’t even give the end of the rope enough centripetal force to make an effective weapon. And the Nerds keep falling off, impeding your enjoyment of a snack after your rope based task is complete.
After 4 days in the lab the only uses we could come up with for the Nerds rope were decorative. It did make a rather fetching necklace and it could be braided into the hair for a bright, funky pirate-estque look. If you like ants, it did make one 28% more popular with ants whilst wearing a nerds rope in one of the above manners.
Finally, day 5 we discovered that the core of the rope was made of some sort of edible red gummy shit and suddenly we came upon a breakthrough. If you eat it, it is actually pretty damn tasty. Dangling the rope above from and tilting my head all the way back, I slowly lowered the rope down my gullet.
The Nerds were sugary, crunchy and vaguely tropical fruit flavoured, the ‘rope’ part was satisfyingly chewy, but I couldn’t really separate out what flavour it was with a mouthful of tiny colourful nuggets of sugar. Probably strawberry or some shit.
This rope is a very nice treat, but I don’t know why one would choose the rope over the Nerds.
Tiny tasty ropey candy – 6/10
