This morning I took my coffee out onto the deck and tripped over a package. It was about the size of a paving stone and it broke 3 of my toes. I tried to take it inside, but after several attempts I collapsed exhausted and drenched in sweat. I am pretty strong and I ate that protein bar that one time a while back, but this sh1t was heavy!
I eventually managed to get the package onto the industrial shipping scales using a grade-43, high-strength carbon steel length of chain and an ingenious pulley system. 1Kg! Wow. No one has ever sent me anything this heavy before.
I opened the box and with great surprise I discovered it was from my new pals at @thelollyboxco Can you guess what they had sent me? It is a tough one… Nope it wasn’t a box of Arizona Bark Scorpions – good guess though! It was actually a pizza box filled to the brim with… Lollies!!
Looks like I am set for lunch.
I imagine one of these would make an incredible gift for some sweet toothed associate or you could put it on the table at your upcoming halloween party, if you have a sturdy enough table. Oh sh1t – got the Prime Minister coming over next week to present you with a medal for your work on Instagram? Maybe grab one of these so you have something nice to offer her instead of the rancid olives from the back of the fridge that you usually offer your guests. I don’t know I am sure you folk can come up with better scenarios than me to find a reason to buy one of these.
As if The Lolly Box Co wasn’t being generous enough they also gave me a discount code for you good people: if you visit the website link in their bio (@thelollyboxco ) Put the name of your favourite Instagram account in the discount box and if your favourite Instagram account happens to be ‘sh1teater’ then you will get 10% off of your purchase.
This was a fine lunch, delicious soft chewy lollies with enough variety to keep you plowing through until you have greedily polished off the whole lot.
*disclaimer don’t try to eat 1kg of lollies in one sitting.
Sweet deal – 8/10