Special report – Twisties

One of my informants recently drew something a little worrying to my attention. It seems that Twisties have mysteriously lost their deliciously light and airy texture and have become hard, densely shriveled worm like abominations!!

Without a second thought I gathered my tools into my bag and quickly grabbed my hat off of the hatstand as the door slammed shut behind me. After spending several seconds freeing my coat tails from the closed and automatically locked door, I was on my way.

I was in luck as the local food supplier had Twisties on sale for $1 each. I seized a packet of Rashuns too – because of ‘fun new shape’ and some Burger Rings because Burger Rings are awesome.

I had a sense of foreboding as I was opening the packet and my stomach sank in horror as I dumped the twisties on top of my desk for examination. They failed to flutter out of the packet like angels falling to earth, instead hitting the desk like demons cast into hell.

Twisties had indeed become perverse echos of their former selves. It is as though they have taken a large sideways step towards the texture of ‘Cruncheese’ or ‘Cheetos’. Nothing wrong with those products, but they are not Twisties.

I also feel that with the new texture the taste needs to be rebalanced – they taste blander to me.

I reached out a spokesperson for PepsiCo, who now owns the brand, (and by ‘I reached out’ I mean ‘I read the response on stuff website and copy pasted it here’) and they have stated:
”We have upgraded the equipment that produces these products and as a result we are seeing some changes.”
“There has been no change to where we source ingredients from or the recipes we use for these products.”

Oh, well there you have it then, they have admitted there are ‘changes’.

Twisted sh1t – 4/10

Bonus sh1t:

Rashuns has a fun new shape. It is a ‘U’ shape. How is that fun?

Bonuser sh1t:

Now Burger Rings are too small to fit on your fingers. Maybe you could do the pinky, but gone are the 10 fingered Burger Ring hi jinks, and the dream of proposing to your future wife with a romantic Burger Ring? – gone.