I haven’t had a drink in a while and I really am starting to get thirsty. I need something to wash the sh1tty taste out of my mouth, let us check on Red Bull and see what they got for me. Oh wow – amazingly they have just put out something new for me to try, what are the odds?
Remember Red Bull Red Edition? It was the time they made it taste (vaguely) like watermelon. Well now Red Bull have a Green Edition it is supposed to taste like dragon fruit – hopefully a little more convincing this time around.
Already I am less than convinced because dragon fruit aren’t really green. They are a very distinct purple colour and white (or purple) with black seed within. And as far as I could tell Red Bull haven’t put out a ‘Purple Edition’ yet they totally could’ve made this the Purple Edition- maybe they are saving it for grape?
Dragons are green – well mostly depicted as being green,The fruit of the dragon? Purple, not green. Hell, even watermelon is greener than dragon fruit – the outside is green at least.
You know what else isn’t green? The Red Bull Green Edition. When I poured it out, I collapsed in disbelief as the liquid inside the can was… purple. Like a dragon fruit. The only thing green about Red Bull Green Edition is the can.
The above fact does however, give me hope that it will actually taste like dragon fruit though.
It vaguely has a tropical (maybe dragon fruit) flavour, but I remember dragon fruit tasting light and subtle, this was anything but light and subtle. It is still an energy drink and tastes like one: Intensely sour with a slightly bitter aftertaste rendered palatable by equally intense sweetness.
If this sounds bad to you then you haven’t had enough energy drinks. It is good, unnaturally good. And refreshing. It gave me breath like fire. And I sprouted massive and leathery, green reptilian wings.
And spent the rest of the evening swooping across the countryside burninating the peasants and their thatched roof cottages.
Green is the new purple – 6/10