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You ever gotten so hot that you lost all of your ions?
It has been so hot recently that all of my atoms have lost electrons and now have a net negative electrical charge and because of the positive atmosphere brought on by the summer, electrolysis has drained me of all of my ions.
Damn, what I need is an Ion Supply Drink…
Enter: Pocari Sweat.
A Pocari is a rare creature found living in the remote forests of Otsuka. It has a large round body, a wide mouth and greyish blue fur. When it is sleeping it emits positive ions from special glands behind its forelegs. This clear liquid is bottled by pharmaceutical companies and sold as ion replacement product, ‘Pocari Sweat’…
Actually that is total bullsh1t…
Disappointingly, the research came back that the word ‘pocari’ means absolutely nothing and was made up by Otsuka Pharmaceutical in 1980, because it sounded nice. Specifically a ‘light nuance and bright sound’. I have to admit that the word ‘pocari’ does sound pretty appealing, shame that they thought it was alright to use the word ‘sweat’ in the name of a drink. I suppose it is marginally better than calling it Pocari sh1t…
The can cracked open to reveal to me that the liquid inside was clear, and carbonated with thousands of tiny bubbles that gave it a cloudy, milky appearance. Exactly like…Sweat. I cautiously took a quick whiff – the aroma was light and slightly fruity. At least it doesn’t smell like sweat.
Pocari Sweat has a very light, mild taste of subtle grapefruit. It is extremely refreshing and very easy to drink. I hardly had time for taste as I dropped the whole can in like 2 gulps. I feel like this might be the kind of thing you smash down your throat after an intense game of… What’s a sport? Like tennis or some sh1t, I guess.
Protip: tastes better when drunk as cold as your fridge will go.
Would happily choose to drink it again despite the fact that I think that it does taste a little like sweat, but maybe that is just the associations that I couldn’t help to make from the glaringly obvious similarities this product has to it’s name.
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟥🟥🟥
Don’t sweat it -7/10
Where can I buy Pocari Sweat in New Zealand?
I got mine from H-Mart – Sorry, they don’t have a website! Happy hunting. 🙂
