by 
Cut the Sh1t I don’t want to read all this…
Behold we have bestowed upon us yet another lump from Pascall lollies and again they risk offending their market by bravely re-imagining another of New Zealands most sacred treasures. But will this one be another lump of sh1t or have we a diamond in the, uh, sh1t this time?
The great alchemists of times past were obsessed with the potential of sugar to become gold and worked tirelessly mixing together all manner of rare substances in the hope of discovering the secret to this transmutation.
It wasn’t until the 1850s that a mysterious figure delivered the formula to the world before disappearing without a trace. Be it called honeycomb toffee, honeycomb candy, sponge toffee, cinder toffee, seafoam, or hokey pokey, finally the denizens of this world can experience the sorcerous marvel of this golden sugary sh1t without access to the arcane arts.
In fact it can be made at home with a simple formula that I have extracted from the minds of the initiated:
Heated and slightly burnt amalgamate of:
Several parts sugar
Golden syrup, honey or corn syrup
Dollop of water
Ample bicarbonate of sodium added to still heated amalgamate,
…and whisk until concoction has reached maximum expansion.
All performed until the light of full moon whilst chanting hymn of the Sweetened One, of course.
The flavour of these are both accurate and tastefully agreeable, perhaps only subtracting the soapy taste of baking soda, present in poorly brewed hokey pokey – certainly not going to lose them any credit.
No, something else is amiss with these, something has removed some of the magic of hokey pokey.
In an astounding alchemical trick, the lump masters of Pascall have changed the recipe and not just by coating in chocolate. They have completely disrupted the structure of hokey pokey and reverted it to a more malleable state. It is soft and yielding, chewy and sticky. Same consistency as other lumps in the series.
The texture is indivisible from the hokey pokey experience for me. But these may still be enjoyed as a new imbuement.
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟨🟥🟥🟥
Hokey pokey, but not as we know it – 6.5 / 10
Cut the sh1t:
Are Hokey Pokey Lumps good?
Sure – they actually taste a lot like hokey pokey, but be warned that these are chewy and not crunchy so a lot of what makes hokey pokey what it is are lost in these.
What do Hokey Pokey lumps taste like?
Lightly burnt sugar – caramel-like – tastes almost exactly like real hokey pokey with out any of the soapy baking soda taste.
Where can I get Hokey Pokey Lumps in New Zealand?
Should be available anywhere that sells lollies – I got mine from New World Supermarket.
