Pascall – Feijoa Lumps

Another lump? There have been so many lumps… I might rename my account “lumpeater”.
( @lumpeater is free btw, I checked)let us take a moment to remember all the lumps of yore…

Pineapple lumps of course.

Jaffa Lumps
Perky Nana Lumps
Snifter Lumps
L&P Lumps
Milkshake Lumps
Peach Lumps

And now Pascall Lollies brings you…Feijoa Lumps

I have to hand it to them, that’s a lot of lumps – I am impressed that after all the successes and failures the lump market has brought they are still able to sh1t out another batch of lumps – and what is more this is actually a new and original idea for a lump flavour.

Feijoas grow prolifically in the temperate NZ clime and often thrive wildly in parks and street corners in suburban zones dropping enough fruit to feed entire communities of people, birds, rats and insects for months. Every year feijoas are anxiously looked forward to, only to be despised again at the end of the season after an over exposure to feijoa due to people who have a tree in their backyard bringing bushels of the fruit to their work, school, sport, church and underwater basket weaving groups.

These tasted exactly like feijoa… At first.

After the chocolate had all chewed off, I was left with a mouthful of chewy, green feijoa confectionery that tasted spot on but started to taste weirder and weirder as it started to dissolve and break down.

There was a strange chemical taste, at first a bit like them pink smoker lollies- not too bad, but as I kept eating more and more, it started to taste like Little Lucifer Firelighters.

Feijoas contain a compound called Methyl benzoate which gives them a distinct chemical taste – there was some similarity, but really tasted messed up as I finished the packet – A weird burning flavour that made my mouth feel kind of numb.

I would recommend trying these only to fulfill morbid curiosity. They are actually nice – if aftertaste like mineral turps isn’t a deal breaker for you.
Anyone else try these? Like them? How would you describe the weird aftertaste?

Fei-noa – 4/10

Bonus sh1t: the feijoa is also known as the ‘pineapple guava’

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