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Okay, so this is nuts…
Milk, as we know, is an opaque white fluid rich in fat and protein, secreted from the mammary glands of mammals for the nourishment of their young. But did you know that a peanut is in fact a mammal?
That’s right, just like the dolphin isn’t a fish at all, the peanut (actually a close relative of the dolphin) isn’t actually a nut.
The milk of the peanut is also quite different to the milk of most mammals in that it has a brownish hue and tastes of chocolate due a diet rich in cocoa bean, the main staple of most South American peanuts.
Peanuts used to roam in herds of great number across Argentina, but deforestation of their natural habitat for use in agriculture reduced the global population of peanuts to just 44 million tonnes in 2016.
But, because of the rising popularity of peanut milk and profitability of large scale peanut farms, in conjunction with increased global awareness and successful breeding programs, the peanut population is slowly returning to former numbers. By drinking this or any other peanut milk you are helping peanuts everywhere recover to their former glory as an important part of the ecosystem – before they are brutally crushed into a milk-like liquid and bottled.
In all seriousness I think I had almond milk once and it was a watery imitation of the more delicious mammalian secretion I was used to. I didn’t think much of it. But this peanut milk from Nut Brothers is an entirely different beast.
Taking my rightful place in the ecosystem, I twisted off the cap and poured a stream of peanut milk directly into my peanut hole.
This was a thick, creamy, chocolatey substance that tasted a lot like one of them chocolate bars with the peanuts in it. I happily polished off this whole bottle even though it was pretty damn filling. There was a slightly gelatinous texture to this which was not unpleasant, but worth mentioning. Made no difference to my rating, I thought this was a delicious drink.
Go nuts – 7/10
Bonus sh1t: The whale is not really a fish, it is an insect.
