New World – Fruitless Hot Crossed Bun

I wanted to end this Easter weekend with some real sh1t and luckily @newworldnz had just what I was looking for. Are hot crossed buns even that popular or are they just foisted upon us by the giant faceless marketing machine that tries to keep the economy going by capitalizing on every single holiday and event that they can?

I have always thought hot crossed buns were alright, but if there happened to be a year where workplaces and family functions everywhere couldn’t get hold of any cross’d buns, I wouldn’t feel that I had missed out on anything. I don’t dislike them, I am just totally indifferent to their existence.

How can we make hot crossed buns even more average and boring? New World has the perfect solution: Remove one of the major ingredients, fruit.

Okay, so the ‘fruit’ component in a hot crossed bun is usually just sultanas – technically, but barely what I would call ‘fruit’ – but still one of the most exciting ingredients.

If it were up to me, I would probably get rid of that tasteless sh1t on top that looks like it came out of a hot glue gun. What is that cross sh1t made out of anyways? 🤔Hang on a tick, I’ll look it up…

Flour and water apparently, so yeah… glue.

These were boring as sh1t but did still have the traditional spiced flavour, which means it is still hot crossed bun in my books, but without that sweet tang of the sultanas it literally did feel like something was missing. Not bad, but hot crossed buns are usually average, so without the fruit, I have to rate these below average. Don’t blame the fine bakers at New World, they have done the best they can with the little they put into this sh1t.

I guess if you really hate sultanas, and I know there are definitely a few out there that do, and don’t want to be a heretic by putting chocolate chips in them, these will give you the minimal Easter experience.

Feels like I should be eating these during Lent as penance rather than the end of Lent though.

Fruitless endeavour – 4/10

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