Nescafe – Turk Kahve

I am not a morning person, and as I rolled out of bed and staggered downstairs with slow clumsy steps like a dead body returning to life to seek nourishment from the living world, I thought about the various objectives I had for the day. There were some tough ones in there, like brushing my teeth and showering and most important – reviewing some more sh1t for my adoring public.

I contemplated going back to bed as I rubbed my eyes and yawned. The world could go today without me. My mind isn’t active enough to do sh1t today.

Suddenly my eyes flicked open fully wide as I remembered what it was I was supposed to be eating today (or rather drinking). Thank you all so very much for voting for the Turkish coffee from my @turkishtreatbox today. I am going to need it.

My Turkish is better than it has ever been, but I am still a total amateur and half asleep so reading the instruction on the back of the packet was way outside my abilities, and I just opened the packet, dumped the power in a mug and threw some hot water on top. It says ‘3-in-1’, so I am going to assume that means coffee, milk and sugar.

The first sip I took of this was sh1t.

It had a whole bunch of coffee grounds floating on top and it was bitter. Wait is this supposed to be plunger coffee or something? Did I do it wrong? Surely not, milk was part of the mixed powder in the packet and we don’t put milk into the coffee plunger. Do we?

Ah, no. I am hearing from my research team now and this is supposed to be what Turkish coffee is. It is made using a finely ground coffee and the grind is left in when served. I would look like an idiot if not for the research team. Well… more of an idiot.

The second sip went much better than the first. I had already sipped off, chewed and swallowed the floating coffee particulates and now it was fine. Not overly sweet, it had a bit of spice to it. Similar to a chai or something. I was able to enjoy this coffee right down to the bottom of the cup where the rest of the grind had settled.

Protip: If you like eating coffee grounds you can finish this sh1t with a teaspoon.

Back to the grind – 6.5/10

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