by 
Have you ever gone to the movies and poured your packet of Maltesers into your popcorn?
Yeah, me neither – but it actually seems to be something that people do enough for Maltesers to try and cut out the middleman, providing Maltesers that already have the flavour of popcorn mixed in, taking away the f̶u̶n̶ need to mix them yourself.
I usually begin my product testing with a deep inhalation of the air sealed in the packaging to get a nice little whiff of what I am getting into, but this time after inhaling, my eyes widened before glazing over and staring unseeingly into nothingness.
I heard music, dizzying circus music, faint at first, then gradually increasing to an unnervingly loud, blaring concofiny of horror. My breath quickened and sweat started to roll down my brow as images of distorted and painted faces swirled in my mind’s eye laughing maniacally.
Sh1t, not again…
I’m okay everyone, just triggered another childhood trauma with that smell is all.
I don’t even remember how old I was when I went to the circus This one time. I do remember a fat clown there who was painting the faces of the children in different designs though. I remember getting my face painted like an insect or some sh1t, which would have been a positive experience except for the smell…
This clown smelt so bad. It was hot inside of the crowded ‘big top’ and the smell of body odor combined with rancid popcorn butter emanating from the greasy, unwashed costume of this clown still makes me shudder to this day.
That is what the smell of these reminded me of.
I still ate them, of course:
They tasted pretty weird. I didn’t hate it, exactly, and some people are going to like it, but I really can’t recommend. It was too odd of a flavour, It didn’t taste at all like popcorn to me – it tasted salty and buttery. Also it is the chocolate that is flavoured like ‘popcorn’ not the malt centre. Weird choice – I feel like this could’ve almost worked, but it really just didn’t.
Traumatic – 3/10
