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Remember that weird kid at the back of the class that used to eat crayons? Perhaps you were the weird kid that used to eat crayons…. I know I was. Well now you can have your crayons and eat them too.
I am not sure what I mean by that.
So this hilarious novelty comes from a company called ‘Jojo’, which is a Pakastani confectionery company that doesn’t appear to be on Instagram, I did find their website which had a Facebook link, but it was dead. The website was pretty amazing though and had all sorts of fun sh1t including the foreboding story of how JoJo came to be:
There was this planet called JoJo and it had a race of stupid looking, squiggly, anthropomorphic balls, called ‘Popas’ (yeah, I don’t know…sorry), who made sugary treats until all the sugar ran out. They left their husk of a planet in search of more sugar only to find Earth. Now they live among us and in return for treats we allow them to drain our would of the precious resource of sugar until, I guess, they drain our world too.
The packet contained all of the sickly, pale colours needed to draw an epic picture: Orange, pink, brown, another brown, green and blue. These looked more like a plasticine model of an anatomic unmentionable than a crayon and I did try to draw an awesome picture, but I couldn’t get them to even vaguely stain a piece of paper.
Let’s not pretend that these are trying to be anything other than a sh1t novelty bubble gum for kids, but actually I was surprised.
They had a fairly sour stream of liquid running through the middle and quite a bit of taste to them. They actually went the extra mile and each colour had a different flavour. Very sugary and difficult to identify, but I did pick out a vague cola and an orange. Of course, the flavour didn’t last long, but longer than I would have expected from such a product. Still sh1t, just not as sh1t as I thought. Well done Jojo.
JoJo’s Bizzare Crayon – 5.5/10
