Heartland Chips – Maple Bacon Flavoured Chips

heartlandchips - Maple Bacon Flavoured Chips

This suggestion from @j1blb almost fell off the sh1tlist with all the lockdown sh1t going on back then. But I am happy to report that I have finally managed to get my sh1tty little hands on bag of this fine sounding sh1t.

Maple syrup was first utilised by the indiginous peoples of North America and is basically drilling a hole in a maple tree and letting it bleed sap into a bucket. Pretty brutal, but if it makes you sleep any better, the average maple tree can give us up to 12 litres of sap per day. That is 7% of it’s total sap. The equivalent in humans would be about 330ml of blood – enough to fill a beer mug. It wouldn’t be unusual for a barber to take this much blood from someone suffering from bad humors, so it probably makes the tree healthier.


One then takes the sap and boils off the moisture to condense the sugars to make delicious maple syrup. Canadians might seem weird pouring boiled tree blood on their bacon, but seriously, when you cure bacon with maple syrup you end up with one of the most amazing tasting compounds known to humankind.

‘Flavoured’ is an interesting word. It can mean that it contains an ingredient, but more often than not it means it tastes like, but is not that thing. Like those horrible bottles of liquid sugar that they have on the shelves of the supermarkets that say “Maple” and “Syrup’ in big bold letters before you see the smaller word ‘flavoured’ sandwiched between. Trying that sh1t in Canada would get you the harshest penalty allowed by the law. Which in Canada, is a stern telling off.

Naturally the first thing I looked for in the ingredient list of these chips was maple. Nope, looks like they went with a honey and smoke dextrose combination. I don’t know what smoke dextrose is, but I like the sound of it.

That’s okay, it doesn’t have bacon in it either and it does say maple bacon -flavoured-.

Throwing out all of the maple syrup based trivia I had amassed, I threw a few of these into my mouth. It had a sweet and savoury flavour that came close enough to maple bacon for me to happily demolish the whole bag.

Maple facon – 7/10

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