Duff – Energy Drink

I had never heard of this sh1t before, but apparently there is this television show called ‘The Sampsons’ or something and the characters are often depicted as enjoying a beer called ‘Duff’. I am informed that one of the main characters ‘Omar’ is particularly fond of it and is seen in many episodes, going to a place called ‘Joe’s Cavern’ in which he partakes in several Duff Beers.

Any of yous seen this show before? I think I may have seen an episode or two.

There is actually a beer out there based on the fictional drink from the show, but this isn’t the beer one, this is the energy drink one. And judging by the can, it is also an official product licenced under 20th Century Fox, except I think Disney owns the show now. I guess they must have seen some potential in this obscure program. 🤷‍♂️

TV will rot one’s brain, so let’s move on to rotting our guts with this Duff sh1t.

The can opened with a satisfying crack and fizz and a super sweet, artificial smelling scent filled the air. Glancing at the can I discover the flavour of this sh1t has been designated ‘Wonderful Orange Flavor’. Yes, ‘flavor’ without the ‘u’ just like the American family in the show would spell it.

When I poured this elixir from it’s container into a glass, my jaw dropped in astonishment at the vibrant shade of orange that was unleashed. We have seen some pretty orange sh1t on this account before, but pretty sure none have been such a other worldly, nightmarish hue. When the light hit this odd liquid in the right way, it actually seemed to add an orange luminescence of its own.

It was heavily fizzy, creaming up in the mouth and tasted of orange, but unlike any orange in nature. Think of orange Fanta, then add orange Tic-Tak; now dump in a sh1tload of citric acid, finally, dial back the sour with a king sized serving of high fructose corn syrup. I had a lot of time to think on the exact flavour combination because I still seemed to be tasting it hours after I had finished the Duff. Not terrible, but tastes like something you shouldn’t drink.

I had enough of this wonderful Duff – 5/10

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